Planning #101: You got engaged, now what!?
I know, I know, you dreamed of that perfect wedding forever. Great. Now welcome to the wedding industry. We’ve been rooting for you to get engaged so we can fleece you! Wait, no! What I meant is that we will make your dreams come true!
Listen, we’ll talk about money soon, but, before you venture into the wilderness of venues and vendors, first decide what is important to you for this day. Even if you do have a venue… still take a moment.
Are you doing this to impress people, to one up Megan from Junior High (she doesn’t care), to have a great party with your dearest friends and family, to let the world know you’re happening, to bring the family back together from all over the country, to have an easy to remember anniversary, or to match your anniversary with someone else’s?
The more fixed requirements you place on yourself and your wedding, the more expensive and difficult it will get to check all your boxes. Try to pick 1-2 things that really matter and go from there…
So, you have 2 questions to answer
· What matters most to you
· What do you want your guests to remember?
1. What matters to you.
Selfishly, I hope you want to have sweet celebration and a really fun party.
- A sweet celebration is a ceremony shorter than 30 minutes… mainly because an officiant, or priest, or whoever brings you wisdom from heavenly books can only say “forever this or that” for so long before it gets boring. Keep your ceremony to 15 -20 minutes tops and your guests might still be awake.
- A fun party means no kids, someone to deal with logistics and amazing music and dance lights.
o Kids are a pain in the butt at weddings: they run everywhere, make a mess, get hurt, cost extra to feed, and their parents leave early to deal with the precious little monsters… so your expensive party fizzles earlier.
o Someone to take care of logistics – Listen: when you throw a party at your house you and your family are the only ones NOT having fun. Should that be your wedding day? Well, if you’ve been bad, then yes! You should be miserable on your wedding day. But if you’ve been good, then get a day of coordinator and let her deal with all the crap that goes on – where are the cake forks, when do we do this or that, did we forget to whatever… and no, your mom does not deserve to be put to work on your wedding day. GET. A. DAY. OF. COORDINATOR….. NO!..... JUST.GET.ONE.
o Shameless marketing plug: all our venue reservations come with a day of coordinator… one more reason why our Couples Have More Fun!
o Finally… most people have dinner at 6pm and stop at midnight (nothing good happens at a wedding after midnight). You will eat and toast from 6 to 7 or 7:30 or so, and then you have just under 5 hours of party. Your DJ, the quality of the sound system, and the dance lights will drive the impression of 4.5 - 5 hours of your 6 hours reception. When you start with an “empty box” venue, no matter what your Pinterest board looks like, it will be difficult and expensive to create those amazing looks and impressions. Shamelessly, I feel I have to tell you that our venues are over the top when it comes to sound and lights, and our parties unlike (almost) any wedding you’ve ever been to… and yes, that is one more reason why our couples have more fun.
2. What do you want your guests to remember or talk about on their way home?
o An expensive wedding?
o A breathtaking venue?
o Amazing centerpieces?
o A gourmet experience?
o Something else?
Again, the more goals you set for your wedding, the more ridiculously expensive it will get. Here is what I get from a wedding: was I able to say hello to the newlyweds or were they never available? Was the food good? And did I have fun? That’s it. Everything else is just… whatever…
Before you shop for venues and whatever else, take a moment to discuss with your partner what matters to you two, and what can be secondary. This will inform the size of your wedding, the style, and ultimately the financial pressure you will create for yourself.
Quick word about timelines… the Internet is full of wedding planning timelines: at 3 month you do this, at 4.237 months you do that. Baloney. Get anything you can get done, as soon as you have time. Do not wait, do not procrastinate. Meet with the DJ now: your taste in music will not change in the next year. Pick you food now: are you going to stop liking chicken? The more you get done now, the less stressed out you will be as your wedding day starts looming larger and larger. Get it done.
So that’s all I have to say about that… and remember, I am biased, and not very smart… and if you disagree with me, that is because you are right, and I know nothing.
