Your wedding day will be a very long day, and it will be over in a flash. Still, it is not a sprint, it is a marathon… longer, actually.

Get some sleep the night before… get some sleeping aids if those are ok for you, just don’t party, and don’t stay up. Sleep!

7:00 AM

In the morning, before you do anything else, please make the decision to have a good time. If you start your day with a cloud over your head, and start worrying about all the things that might not end up perfectly, I promise, you fill find them. Happiness is a decision, not something that happens to you. You can choose to be happy in most circumstances. The best fortune cookie I ever opened said “If you are not happy with what you have now, how are you going to be happy when you have more?”

I belabor this point because I see enough brides, or even more commonly, mothers of brides, who come in looking for something that is not perfect. Guess what: they find it, and then, instead of having a grand ole’ time, they spend all their time thinking and huffing and puffing about the fact that the favors are not in front of the fork, but rather 3 inches to the left… or whatever.

Look for reasons why your day is awesome, and you will find them. You will be happier, and all around you will appreciate you. This is actually true for your whole life, not just your wedding day. So there, I am your dad now too.

Second: eat! Don’t stuff your face, but don’t allow yourself to be hangry all day and bite people’s heads off. Also bring some treats, water, and soda with you. Be smart, and don’t pack, or tell your mom not to pack, foods that stain: sauces in sandwiches, salsas, ketchup, veggie dips, chocolate bars, Doritos, etc. Rough it up a bit and avoid disasters.

8:00 AM

Get your hair and make-up done first, not last… because if your stylist is slow, and you are last, you will be late for your photos. If you are first, you will have time to chill and sip mimosas. Speaking of which, I hope you will have done a test ahead of time for both hair and make-up… just to make sure you do not get to look like a panda bear on your wedding day.

Once you are done with hair and make-up, if you could not have a rehearsal done ahead of time, get one done around noon or so… it should take 5 minutes: have someone line people up in the entry order, and the tell them when to go and where.

Start photos around 12:30 or 1pm and get as much done as you can, as soon as you can. Hiding until the ceremony is not a good idea for a number of reasons

- If you ask people to come early, then they will leave early and your party will fizzle long before your envisioned end time

- If you have to take pictures after the ceremony and it is raining, the room will be full of people in the background

- Instead of hanging out with your friends during social hour, you will be busy taking pictures – why did you invite them if you did not want to hang out with them?

So be practical, start with a “First Look”, get all the pictures done before the ceremony if you can, and then you’ll be able to enjoy the company of your family and friends after. Catholic ceremonies usually start at 2pm or 3pm, so then you’ll have to finish after the ceremony, but still, the bulk of photos will be done. Further, your hair and make up will be perfect earlier in the day, and, as the day goes by, especially if a hot day, you’ll be less and less photogenic.

If you finished your pictures before the ceremony, and you are not taking off to visit with other people, then your ceremony can start at 4:30pm… and be done by 5:00, which gives you an actual hour for the social hour.

After the ceremony, you may choose to have a receiving line. That’s where you two stand in a place, while you guests file by and congratulate you. You might want your parents for this activity, but definitely not your wedding party. If you do not like the idea, skip it, have your officiant tell the guests that you will greet them during the social hour. I do not like when people dismiss rows, because now you are forcing people to wait in this long line… it is boring. Some might want to get out of the sun, or get a drink, or go to the restroom. Let them.

Some couples hop on a bus after the ceremony and go bar hopping. I wouldn’t. Even if you have to travel from a church to your reception venue, bar hopping is not a great idea because you are getting your wedding party plastered, and you are not spending time with your guests. Everyone came to see you and wish you well, except you are not there.

6:00 PM

At the end of your social hour and before dinner, most couples have a grand entrance, where the DJ introduces the wedding party and the newlyweds. Once this is done you’re ready for dinner. A slight variation (popular on the East Coast) is to go straight into the first dance. In Minnesota we do this sometime if you have the photographer for a limited amount of time and you need to get those pictures done asap. If you do, then you might as well cut the cake and toss the bouquet while you are at it.

Dinner starts. If it’s your custom, you can have someone say a prayer. Some couples will let grandma get this done just so she can get it out of her system. If you are not religious, don’t do it: it’s your wedding.

7:15 PM

Once everyone has been served their meal, get going to toasts and speeches.

7:30 PM

After speeches, you may want to cut the cake and then launch your first dance.

9:00 PM

Soon grandma will be leaving, and so will your photographer. Stop and get done whatever else needs to be done: bouquet toss, garter toss, shoe game.

9:30 PM Until Midnight

Dance.

Shameless plug: at our venues, you dance until midnight, and then you say your goodbyes, load your stuff and ride into the sunset. You will be able to do that because we will pack your stuff and set it by the door.

In many places, you need to stop the party at 11 and do the packing yourself so they can lock the door behind you at 12. Essentially, you have an extra hour at our venues.

So that’s all I have to say about that… (well, I’ll go into more detail about each of these activities later). Meanwhile, remember, I am biased, and not very smart… and if you disagree with me, that is because you are right, and I know nothing.

Planning #105: Your Wedding Day from Dawn to Dusk