Planning #104: What goes into a wedding and why most people CRS!
Will you actually enjoy and remember your wedding day?
I think, for most people it’s a blur. Cobbling together and coordinating an array of vendors, while decorating, coordinating, getting ready, taking pictures, and trying to enjoy the day in the same 12-16 hours is a lot for anyone. To top that off, some couples add on all kinds of fun, but ultimately time consuming, and unnecessary activities. And that is why most people CRS, as in Can’t Remember Sssstuff. (Now, if you skipped Planning 101, please stop, go back and do your homework. Please! I’m trying to save your wedding day here.)
So what’s a girl to do to make this a great experience? Here are some thoughts:
- Have a schedule for the day with details for all involved
- Have fewer vendors not more
- Do less: limit the scope of all your activities and stops / locations to visit
- Have a day of coordinator
- Have a personal attendant
- And maybe have a planner
Schedule: In addition to having a timeline for yourselves (hair, photos, ceremony, dinner and dance), add details about times and addresses for deliveries, names and contact information for those responsible for deliveries, and getting things set and done for you, including removals of cards, gifts, decorations, and whatever else. You want one document that has everything you need to deal with problems.
Fewer Vendors: The venue is the obvious one. The more your venue will do for you, the less you have to deal with yourself. But also, your florist can be your decorator. At most, have one vendor for each service you need, not more than one… let one person or company do all the decorating. If you must have 2 photographers, hire a team, not 2 different ones. Don’t get desserts from 3 different places. Why? Because all these people need to act in sync, and the more people are involved in your wedding day, the more there are opportunities for miscommunications.
Scope: A smaller scope of activities is less expensive, less stressful to accomplish, and it will give you more time to enjoy each other’s company and to mingle with your guests. Forget lawn games and fire pits, forget bar hopping, or driving to multiple locations to get your photos done… the point of photos is to capture your faces… it’s not landscape photography. One place should be enough, unless you are getting married in a church… two tops, done.
The Day of Coordinator is huge. Without one, you or your mom or sister will be in charge of everything, meaning that they will not enjoy anything. Have mercy: let them enjoy the party. The day of coordinator, I think, should not be your personal attendant, or a close friend who, in your opinion, will want to enjoy the party too. This person is there to work. They should prompt you throughout the day of what is next, they should make sure things are ready for whatever is next (plates and forks ready for dessert, the tossing bouquet within reach, rain wiped off ceremony chairs, whatever…), they should check in with the vendors onsite, the DJ, etc. to make sure they are all ready for the next step at the same time. This person is so important that we include one in all our packages. We literally will not do a wedding without our day of coordinator on site.
Personal Attendant: this is a friend. They should not be in the wedding party, or a family member, unless they promise they are there to work not party. They are there to be your gopher: get me this and that, find this person… whatever. They should wear sneakers and jeans, not a skirt and heels. They should hold your dress when you try to fit in the restroom stall to pee. They should expect to run around and sweat, not be picture perfect.
Planner: I am a planner. I am torn about planners. I think many planning packages try to do too much to justify a rather high fee… do you really need someone to take you shopping? I don’t know. I do know that you will need someone to help you think through all the options for your day, and to create a timeline for you. You will also want to ensure that all your vendors sing from the same sheet music.
So there. And now, time for my sales plug, from the shameless marketing division of Fab Weddings: at all our venues we include planning and day of coordination so things go smooth, and you, your sister, and your mom actually get to enjoy your day. Our tag line is Our Couples Have More Fun… and they do.
So that’s all I have to say about that… and remember, I am biased, and not very smart… and if you disagree with me, that is because you are right, and I know nothing.